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Buying our first home and doing major renovations, many while inhabiting it, has been quite a ride. At turns scary, confusing, exhausting, exhilarating, rewarding, and fun. We’ve learned a ton and have long mental lists of what not to do and what to do next time.

Here’s the beginning of our personal renovation handbook with much more to add:

• Find a good realtor, someone who understands your tastes, really knows the market, has connections, and is skilled at communicating and negotiating. We knew what we wanted, had limited time to find it, and played a very active role in the buying process. Searching listings online and just having them set up showings was fine. It would have been great to have them ferret out some places too, though. The paperwork is pretty rudimentary, basically just a matter of filling out the right forms at the right time. We drove the timing by aggressively searching and requesting showings, then working closely with the mortgage broker to speed up the schedule. They would have been most valuable when it came time to communicate and negotiate with the seller, but instead that’s where we really had to jump in and get creative, with little support.

• Find a good attorney. Our attorney was actually a huge help throughout, way more than the realtors. He offered guidance, suggestions, and cautions, and connected us with a first rate inspector and electrician. Most importantly, during tense and complex negotiations, he held our hand, went well beyond the scope of his services, coordinated with the mortgage broker and the seller’s attorney, and made it happen.

• Stay focused on your vision and don’t give up easily. At the same time, always be open to other possibilities. Sometimes impossibilities, given the right energy and attention, become realities. And sometimes when life forces you to walk a different path than planned/desired, you find unexpected opportunities.

• Find good contractors/resources and treat them well. Get referrals from trusted sources and always meet/talk with multiple options before choosing. Getting a good price for the work is important, but working with people you can communicate well with, and who understand what you want, is equally important. If you are serving as your own general contractor, it is critical to be actively involved in the scheduling and progress, highly organized, and on top of the details. You also should have a crystal ball to forsee potential snags and develop creative work arounds. Good contractors are generally quite busy and, no matter how skilled they are, issues will arise. Handling the challenges with poise, patience, and strength will keep everybody sane and ultimately get the job done. Keeping these relationships healthy is hugely important so you know who to turn to when more work is needed on the same home, or your next project.

• Listen to friends, family, and contacts who have done renovations. Learn from their experiences. Don’t reinvent the wheel every time. On the other hand, don’t be scared off by other people’s challenges. Each experience is unique to the individual. The hard stuff in life is where some of the best learning, growth, and accomplishement is found. Blazing new paths is good stuff.

• Stay healthy. Eat well (even on-the-go) and find time for exersize and fresh air/sunshine breaks from the job site. This refueling will give you the strength, and clarity, to tackle all the challenges.

• Stay on top of finances, even in the midst of the chaos. Track every expense and forecast what is upcoming. Keep all receipts and paperwork organized. The easier it is to find (which you will inevitably need to do), the more time you will have for all the other stuff. Plus, all of these details are needed for yearly taxes and adjusting the basis when you sell.

• Be a savvy shopper. Renovation materials are expensive and there are Lots of things to buy. Always seek out good deals. Call/visit the independent businesses (frequently off the beaten path, and full of character), look for floor models and gently used stuff. Do your homework. Research might shift your focus from one product to another which is a better choice.

At times this project has felt infinite. We certainly took a break, from the inside jobs, once the weather got nice. Working the land was a pleasant diversion. It was another lesson, though, because a big, unruly, plot of land is a never-ending project, and it’s more fun to garden when you want to not because you have to.

Once cold weather returned it was back to work on the inside with many, many tasks left to accomplish. This winter, our first full one in the house has been long and tough. The isolation of the location, persistent cold and gray weather, constant chill of the interior, and insanely high price of heating oil challenged us in every way. Now Spring is blowing in, the days are getting longer, and this project is complete!

Along the way, we have had the opportunity to further contemplate what home means to us, and craft a more clear vision to pursue. While the sweeping vistas and abundant flaura and fauna have been nourishing, a big yard is a lot of work, and suburban living is not for us. The nature of urban parks and beaches, container/patio gardening, and weekend day trips can provide that same nourishment. Living on a busy street with no good walking areas near by stinks. Even though we are very home-centered, we still need to be close to the action. We are walkers, it is one of our favorite passtimes and so our neighborhood has to be conducive to that.

Oh ya, and winter is not for me. Apparently I needed to move back to Boston to really learn that. I am a sunny, warm weather gal. That’s the climate needed for this flower to bloom. Jeph claims he can be happy just about anywhere but he likes to be active, and out and about year round, too.

So, first we sell, then we head for more urban, warm, turf. We’ve developed a relationship with an excellent realtor. He knows our town, contemporary architecture, and the market. He is also an investor, renovator, and consultant and has given us numerous hours and guidance on our renovations. We are very confident in the skill and approach of him and his partner and that is hugely important in the current, sluggish market/economy. This is the third and final stage of this project for us (1.Buy, 2. Renovate, 3. Sell) and equally labor intensive and nerve-wracking. It is also thrilling and exciting and a springboard to new adventures!