This photo will make sense when you get to the final paragraph.

The more I tune in to current reality, the more I show up and pay attention, the more I am Now Here, the more synchronicities I have the pleasure of experiencing. Each occurrence is a sign that I am in harmony with the flow of life, instead of fighting against it or being the fish who’s unaware it’s swimming in water. I am studying the heck out of mental/emotional/physical/spiritual equilibrium these days and it’s wonderful when the insights come in waves which reinforce one another. That’s what keeps me swimming, and what helps me jump back into the water when I can’t see the bottom of the river or which way the current is going.

Speaking of being Now Here, that’s a clever reminder from my man Baron (see Choose Wisely – Part 2). Though I’ve not met him, his teaching greatly benefits Jeph and I, body and spirit, and I am grateful for it.  The library has been a great source of synchronistic materials this year – something about wandering the stacks and letting yourself be guided to the material you need…Last week I picked up a book called Meditations from the Mat, by Rolf Gates, and was  pleasantly surprised to see his shouts out to Baron, from whom he learned how to really teach others.  In the intro, he talks about Baron sharing his teaching philosophy: be there to help others unfold themselves (good metaphor for yoga practice!) and discover their true nature, their core, their essence, their Source.  It was a synchronicity to discover the book (which is full of wisdom very much in line with what I am working on) and the connection to Baron.  I’ll probably have to buy it so I can continue to benefit and receive inspiration for my own writing.

And carrying on the theme of connecting with your source, I was visiting the Communicatrix (a favorite writer and clever, funny, witty gal) remotely a couple weeks ago and read about The Remembrance Challenge.  It sounded like a worthwhile practice so I signed up and today is Day 9 of my effort.  It is aligning nicely (synchronicity!) with the pranic healing exercises (will elaborate in future posts) I started around the same time. I’ve been looking for some assistance with meditation and I like the approach here: filling up instead of just emptying. It’s great, and important, to clear out, and I’m doing that too, but it’s really nice to have guidance around what to fill the emptiness with: the pure you, the Real reality.  Connecting with that reality which is You Now and Here, and accepting it, provides solid ground to take the next steps.  In ‘Getting to the Core of Your Business’ (where The Remembrance is outlined), Mark Silver describes it’s benefit for dealing with the inevitable life crap:

If you are walking and you step into dog poop, it’s not very pleasant. This happens all the time– we step into situations in the world which feel like we landed in the doo-doo. Unfortunately, we spend a lot of time trying
not to have stepped in it.
The truth is, support is right there under our foot. But to take the next step, it feels like we’re sinking deeper into the doo-doo. But that’s the only choice we have, and we find it’s not so bad after all.
The Remembrance gets you through the doo-doo, by putting you squarely where you are. Once there, you remember to witness the Divine Reality, so you feel the strength of the ground under you, holding you up, rather than focusing on the dog doo, that keeps you from taking that next step.

I got a good laugh when I read that because just a day or two beforehand I had stepped in a big pile of…mud…(see photo) but it looked an awful lot like doo-doo, and I definitely sunk deeply into it.  It was cool, though, because J was there and while I muttered “oh-my-god” in a shellshocked way, he sprang into action and directed me around the corner (of the model home who’s window’s we were peering in when this happened) to the water spigot where I was able to rinse off my foot and sandal (and the other foot/sandal for OCD symmetry.)  Cool that I was wearing sandals so it was an easy fix.  And cool that J is so observant and street savvy – one of the many reasons we’re a good team.  It felt really good to react with lightness, even humor, to a messy situation.  I take that as a ray of progress for this control freak!

May 16th is my Birthday…

The weather was a pleasant surprise – warmer and more sun than forecasted.  When I caught myself giving thought to what I didn’t receive – call/card/email from mother (forgetful and not actively engaged in my life), dad (gone, and never had a relationship), brother (totally wrapped up in his own drama and makes no effort to keep in touch), and friends – I grabbed my mind by the ear and forcefully redirected it.  Just remembering it now, I can feel my energy sink.  Because, it is an energy drain to focus on what you think you should have but don’t.  It creates a hole in your core which keeps gobbling up all the good elements of your life to feed it’s aching emptiness.  That’s never pleasant, or productive, and should always be caught and redirected.  And, especially on my birthday – a day to celebrate one’s essence and existence in this lifetime – I wasn’t about to go there.

I frequently wonder if I’m making any progress in my efforts to still my mind, open up to universal wisdom and guidance, recognize and clear blockages, and strengthen my inner source of power (through meditation, yoga, qi gung, chakra work, and acupuncture.)  I still catch my mind wandering all the time, still feel blocked energy, and still sense that inner light struggling to really shine.  Perhaps this an example of progress: catching my mind/heart wandering into negative thoughts/feelings of entitlement, disappointment, comparison, and lacking, and shifting the focus.  It is hard to do, for sure, but as is always the case, practice gradually makes an action more comfortable and automatic.  As that happens, energy is freed up for other good stuff, like being Now Here to soak up the sun, listen to the birds sing, and breathe – ahhh.

What I decided to think and feel on the 39th anniversary of my first breath is all the good stuff my life is full of:

• Love and support from family and friends, expressed and just known
• A very loving, supportive, cool, fun partner to share this road with
• Loving, supportive furry friends (the boys) with lucky tail powers
• The earth which supports and nourishes me
• The universe which guides and protects me
• The opportunities which each moment presents
• All I am learning about how to cultivate true health of body/mind/heart/spirit
• The healing touch of acupuncture treatments
• Coming home to a clean house, smelling of chocolate
• Enjoying a play, and homemade brownies during intermission,  in the courtyard, in the warm, fresh Spring nighttime air
• A genuine, down-to-earth Birthday Happiness Wish and smile from the woman we chatted about vintage bikes with – that made my night
• A freshly made bed to crawl into
• Freedom – to choose what I focus my intention on and how I act and react

I am truly blessed and grateful.